So here I was planning to post a new post the day after starting my pretty lil’ blog then life gets in the way and…
1 My beloved Nana dies —> V needs to fly to Poland
2. My beloved laptop St. Jimmy dies —> V needs to redo ALL her coursework by the deadlines AND find a new motherboard.
3. To my mother it means I need to see her in her new flat and go shopping —> V needs to spend 3 hours on the train in the evening just to spend the following day clothes shopping and getting her hair done. I FUCKING HATE CLOTHES SHOPPING.
So… almost two weeks, one exhausting trip and one funeral later I am back.
Now there’s many things that could be said here but… let’s not go all emotional.
I have learned a few things during my trip:
1. When I was a teenager I used to spend a lot of time in hospitals, mainly one. It meant I was away from home and usually had no visits. While I did feel a bit weird about the no visits part (and the fact that often other people’s parents/grandparents felt so sorry for me that they’d bring me gifts and tidbits just so I didn’t feel like a dick when their sons and daughters were showered with chocolate and stuff) I could never understand other people’s obsessions with wanting to go home. I myself preferred the hospital. I had things to do, people to chill with and peace and quiet when I wanted it. It’s a second time I went away to Poland since I developed my own Family of sorts. And that’s when I discovered how it feels to miss home. Miss being around people you love, even when they’re pissing you off, miss familiar streets, language and your own bed. Even if the bed is in fact a shitty mattress in your sub’s spare room.
2. Sometimes when you take some time away to figure out whether you actually want something and you find out that yes, you do, it can clear your head but can also make your life a bit more difficult. Especially when the only person you ever want to discuss it with is one person you can’t talk about it to. It’s a bit surreal I guess.
Now in perspective of time I actually did gain something from that godawful trip to the Republic of Poland, despite my Granny’s funeral being a fucking disgrace, my family being mostly a pain and a bunch of arseholes with few exceptions, the weather being shit and the general feel of wanting to get the fuck out of there.
Don’t get me wrong. Poland is beautiful and has a lot of sadly unused potential, but my heart and my home is right where I am, with my Herd.