Of Life, Death and Things of late

Today is a very special day, it’s not my birthday, it’s not my relationship anniversary, graduation or anything like that. 

On 12th of December 2008 my best friend Nataniel closed his eyes forever. 

Since I could remember he was always ill and in hospital a lot. When I was 10 I found out why. He was suffering from cancer from an early age. He kept getting better then after a few months relapsing. I’ve always felt like his big sister. Like it was my job to look after him, protect him and try to make it all easier on him. I remember throwing a massive tantrum when my gran refused to take me to a different city to see him in the hospital. I remember being 11 and stubborn and telling my gran that it’s fine. If she won’t give me a lift I will find a way to do it myself. It involved a stubborn 11 year old, a map, a coach service and a very pissed of gran. 

Nat always kept himself to himself with most people. Because of his constant hospital visits he’d usually be homeschooled rather than at school although he always tried to go to proper school as much as he could. He was always warm and always tried to make other people feel better. He had brilliant sense of humour, amazing ability to talk to people and make them feel better, habit of pulling godawful pranks and flirting with nurses. 

He was brilliant at art, wrote the most beautiful poetry on the planet, had abundance of patience, empathy and hope. He rarely complained and he always believed in good in people. He could shrug the worst news off in a blink just because he was so used to it. 

His views on life and death were the most comforting thing on the planet. He always said that sometimes death is just another chapter, just more peaceful and written in a language that no one understands. He didn’t want to be remembered as a flimsy figure wrapped in millions of tubes, he wanted people to see HIM not what’s killing him. He never gave up on trying to make it so. He will always live in my heart and I’m proud of having known him. I just wish he lived to see me all grown-up(ish) and more to the point lived to realise his dream. This is why I want to carry on what he wanted me to do. I want to keep my promises and celebrate his LIFE every year.  

I love him for all he was.