This post has been inspired purely by people’s idiocy. You see some of us seem to have been raised to believe in stereotypes. Yes, them things. Not many however seem to realise how harmful these stereotypes can be, one that I personally despise to the point of nausea is the good ol’ “Boys don’t cry”. It sounds simple and harmless however what it essentially does it teaches people from very young age that suppressing our emotions and feelings is the way to go. Many men grew up with an honest belief that crying or being upset makes you weak and pathetic, that it somehow makes you less of a man. Now as my dearly respected friend once said: “If God didn’t want you to cry he wouldn’t have given you tear ducts.”. Expressing our feelings does not make us weak. It makes us true, no man nor woman is constructed to be an emotionless robot and no one should ever feel ashamed of showing their feelings in the most natural of ways. Men, women, children, elderly straight, gay, bi, black, white… every single one of us goes through life experiencing joy, pain, anger, sadness and is perfectly within their rights to express it not matter who they are, and there’s no harm to anyone’s masculinity to do so.
Still not convinced? Let me try make it scientific, men are wildly know to suffer from mental illnesses and disorders to more severe degree than women, more and more psychologists wonder whether the reason for it isn’t as simple as the fact that they are outright scared to admit they need help, they believe that admitting that they’re suffering from i.e. depression will make them weak, so instead of allowing themselves to get help they require they bottle it up. Now you don’t need a PhD to figure out how badly that can end.
Men more often deny themselves the right to be comforted and cared for in the most simple of ways due to the same ingrained fear. Now, what I’m curious how is being terrified of expressing yourself make you stronger than having the courage to open up?
If you’re a guy who has been judged and mistreated because of opening up- the person who ridiculed your honesty really wasn’t worth the bother, you deserve better than that so don’t be afraid to try again.
If you’re a guy who laughed at friend’s tears… you’re not a man, you’re a mouse, you can hide from everything but you’ll never be able to hide from yourself, so you can sit there watching life but never allow yourself to fully experience it. That’s your choice, allow your friend’s to make their own.
If you’re a woman who laughed at guy’s tears… put yourself in their shoes, how would that made you feel? Now, tell me how are they so different? How did you figure out that they have less right to this outlet than you do?
Now, if you’re a parent of a little boy, you probably love this kid more than anyone in the world and you want what’s best for them, you want them to be strong and brave, smart and talented… teach them not to push people away, teach them to understand that asking for help isn’t a bad thing, that they should show it when they’re happy, they should allow people to cheer them up when they’re sad, that everyone experiences emotions and feelings and there’s nothing wrong with showing them and most of all, even the strongest person in the world sooner or later will need a friend, and even the best friend, partner, companion, lover won’t be there for them unless they allow them to be. And no one wants to go through life feeling like they have to deal with everything alone.